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Author Topic: Estranged (2016) - Mayvmi's First Short Film!  (Read 3304 times)

Offline Mayvmi

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Estranged (2016) - Mayvmi's First Short Film!
« on: December 14, 2016, 08:28:46 PM »
Estranged (2016)

Alright, keep in mind that this is my first time filming one of my screenplays, and it had to be appropriate for a college classroom.  :rolleyes2:

The final was a 2 minute silent film.

I think I got some cool angles in there, but I want honest opinions/constructive criticism!



Offline splat

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Re: Estranged (2016) - Mayvmi's First Short Film!
« Reply #1 on: December 14, 2016, 09:40:52 PM »
Pretty darned good and THAT isn't lip service!

This build up of his manic mental state, the knife then the body. Wife comes home to the madness of her ex-partner and probably a violent and bloody ending. A mystery then the build up to a comprehension of what is happening.

Acting, colour and yes the angles were nicely done!

Offline woodenheart

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Re: Estranged (2016) - Mayvmi's First Short Film!
« Reply #2 on: December 14, 2016, 09:48:36 PM »
Pretty darn good! Camera work was excellent. Love the tension on the actors face. Great job!

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Re: Estranged (2016) - Mayvmi's First Short Film!
« Reply #3 on: December 15, 2016, 01:32:37 PM »
pretty solid flick my dude! I dug the angles. I have a few shorts I did decades ago on youtube somewhere. I should track them down.
I have CanDY!!

Offline Mayvmi

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Re: Estranged (2016) - Mayvmi's First Short Film!
« Reply #4 on: December 15, 2016, 03:26:02 PM »
Pretty darned good and THAT isn't lip service!

This build up of his manic mental state, the knife then the body. Wife comes home to the madness of her ex-partner and probably a violent and bloody ending. A mystery then the build up to a comprehension of what is happening.

Acting, colour and yes the angles were nicely done!

Thank you! That was my goal I wanted it to be a build up and then just cut off at the end,
There are actually two scenes missing from the storyline that I didn't get to film due to time issues, just added scenes of the wife giving him the ring back, basic stuff that's supposed to help explain better that the guy is her ex, but I still think it works even if it seems it's just some random dude.

Offline Mayvmi

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Re: Estranged (2016) - Mayvmi's First Short Film!
« Reply #5 on: December 15, 2016, 03:28:45 PM »
Pretty darn good! Camera work was excellent. Love the tension on the actors face. Great job!

Thank you, I was lucky enough to use the school's professional cameras to make it better quality than trying to find a camera to film it.
The actor is actually one of my good friends that's acted in a couple shorts before so he was my first pick for the role.

Hopefully I'll get to film some longer, more deviant shorts soon  :yes:

Offline Mayvmi

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Re: Estranged (2016) - Mayvmi's First Short Film!
« Reply #6 on: December 15, 2016, 03:30:22 PM »
pretty solid flick my dude! I dug the angles. I have a few shorts I did decades ago on youtube somewhere. I should track them down.

Thanks! Not gonna lie I was really excited about the angle following of her legs.
You should track them down, I would love to see them.

Offline splat

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Re: Estranged (2016) - Mayvmi's First Short Film!
« Reply #7 on: December 15, 2016, 06:09:00 PM »
Thank you! That was my goal I wanted it to be a build up and then just cut off at the end,
There are actually two scenes missing from the storyline that I didn't get to film due to time issues, just added scenes of the wife giving him the ring back, basic stuff that's supposed to help explain better that the guy is her ex, but I still think it works even if it seems it's just some random dude.

Be cool if you revisited this and build on it with your original vision. That is what I am doing right now with my own short.

Offline Mayvmi

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Re: Estranged (2016) - Mayvmi's First Short Film!
« Reply #8 on: December 15, 2016, 09:58:17 PM »
That's a good idea, like a longer, better version with all the time in the world to film.
I'm working on saving up to get a professional camera of my own so I can shoot whenever I want even outside of school projects, going to take some time though.